Pussycat Beesly
by time4moxie
Summary: Kelly's determined to bring out Pam's innate hotness, as Jim watches on....Takes place between Traveling Salesmen and The Return.
1. Chapter 1

Ham and cheese sandwiches.

There were few things more dependable, more comforting, to Jim Halpert than a ham and cheese sandwich. Especially when it was made just right: white bread, a touch of mustard, ham, and American cheese. Lettuce optional. He'd been grocery shopping the previous night, and when he'd strolled past the deli he noticed his favorite type of ham, black forest smoked, was on sale. He took it as a sign that he'd been blaming his lunch choices for his life's problems and immediately asked for a pound, thinly sliced, as a way to rectify the situation. To hell with salads for lunch - nothing had been solved going that route. And tuna fish sandwiches has only resulted in a silly nickname. No, he was officially back to daily ham and cheese sandwiches, if only as a means to keep his sanity. There were other things he wished he could change back to how it used to be, but those weren't so easily fixed.

And so it was that Jim was minding his own business that day, eating lunch in the break room. He appreciated the solitude, and he was enjoying his first official ham and cheese sandwich. Karen had gone out for lunch to do some furniture shopping. Specifically to shop for a new bed. She had invited Jim to come along, hinting that he was at least as invested in the purchase as she was, but he quickly found an excuse to stay behind. He knew any other man would have jumped at the offer, but that man would also probably be having sex with Karen every night. Jim, on the other hand, had been finding ways to avoid the whole situation. Not that sex with Karen wasn't fantastic, because it was. But on more than one occasion he found himself closing his eyes when he was with Karen and imagining he was touching another woman: a woman with curlier hair, whose skin probably turned pink within minutes of being out in the sun, a woman who's smile just melted him. He felt guilty for doing it, and he worried one day he'd say the wrong name, so he did what he was best at: putting up walls and keeping his distance. He knew Karen was beginning to notice.  
Jim's lunchtime solitude was short-lived. Kelly pushed the break room door open, balancing a take-out salad and diet coke in one arm and her iPod stereo in the other. She was giggling in that uniquely Kelly way, and Jim was about to wrap up his lunch to escape when he saw Pam walk in, too. They nodded hello to each other, and Jim decided it was might be worth it to stick around.

"Oh, hey Jim," Kelly said. "What are you doing in here all alone?"

Jim smiled politely as he opened his water bottle. "Eating lunch."

"Well, I need to play Pam some music. That's not going to bother you will it?"

Jim shook his head. "Be my guest." He was interested in seeing what was about to play out, because Pam looked distressed when she saw him.

Kelly put her stereo on the table next to Jim, and sat down. Pam bought a coke and took the chair across from Kelly. She was practically facing Jim, and her proximity made him feel slightly self-conscious. He was pretty sure she was feeling the same way, because there was a slight pinkness to her cheeks, and she averted her gaze whenever their eyes met. 

"Okay, so you know I was reading that article in Cosmo yesterday," Kelly said, opening up her salad, "the one that listed all the ways to raise your self-esteem, and as soon as I read it I knew it was something that could really help you, Pam."

Pam opened her coke and nodded wordlessly. Jim thought the expression on her face made it clear she had no interest in boosting her self-esteem. 

Kelly continued. "And one of the really great ways they say you can build yourself up is to listen to music with positive images. You know, songs that make you feel good about yourself. So I started thinking about what songs would really be perfect for you."

"Okay," Pam said slowly.

"See, I think your problem is that you were with Roy so long, you forgot how to make yourself attractive to guys. You really have the potential to be pretty, Pam. And not just pretty, but hot! Seriously! Remember that red blouse you bought online over the summer? I mean, I've never seen you wear that since the day you got it, and it was clear Roy thought you were really hot in it."

Jim opened his container of carrots, wondering what he'd missed. He grimaced at the idea of Roy getting a chance to see Pam in something that made her look "hot", even if it was well after the wedding had been called off.

"Well, it really wasn't appropriate for work, Kelly," Pam said. 

"See? That's where you're wrong, Pam. You need to practice dressing up here so when you go out you're that much more comfortable around guys." Kelly turned around in her chair to face Jim. "Jim, don't you think Pam would look totally hot if she just jazzed her wardrobe up a bit?"

Jim nearly choked on a carrot. "Um, I think she looks fine as she is," he managed to say.

Kelly rolled her eyes. "Sure, she looks fine, but does she look hot? She needs to start looking hot if she's ever going to find another boyfriend." She turned around to Pam. "Guys just don't get it. But I'm telling you, if we could just get you to start showing a little more cleavage, wear a little more make-up, do your hair differently, Jim would see what I'm talking about."

Pam's briefly looked up at Jim, and he felt a little sympathy for the trapped look she shot him. If Kelly only knew how "hot" Jim thought Pam was just by being herself, she'd know this entire conversation was irrelevant. And part of him squirmed at this topic because he could not stomach the idea of Pam dating anyone. He knew he had no claim on her, but it didn't stop him from wishing eternal spinsterhood on her if he couldn't have her. And last time he'd checked, he couldn't. 

"Cosmo also says that how you think is just as important as how you dress," Kelly went on excitedly, "so getting back to the positive song idea, I found just the absolutely perfect song for you. You need to start listening to this song every day, and pretend you're the one singing it." 

Kelly turned on her iPod and spent a moment locating the song. She plugged it into her stereo pad, and in a few moments the very popular song by the Pussycat Dolls began to play.

iI know you like me (I know you like me)  
I know you do (I know you do)/i

"Oh, Kelly," Pam moaned, putting her head in her hand. Jim turned his head and put his hand against his mouth so he wouldn't laugh out loud.

iThat's why whenever I come around She's all over you/i

"Pam, it's perfect!"

"How do you see that?" Pam asked. Jim noticed Pam had not even glanced once in his direction since the song started.

"Because you need to start acting like you could have any man you want!" Kelly enthused. "You have to start acting like even a guy with a girlfriend wouldn't be able to resist you."

iDon't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me/i

Jim felt a pang in the region of his heart at Kelly's comment. iYeah, even a guy with a girlfriend wouldn't be able to resist you/i, he thought bitterly. Jim pushed the remains of his lunch into his brown bag. He was pretty sure he didn't need to hear any more of this conversation. He looked at Pam as he stood up, but she was carefully studying the contents of her yogurt pot. He could hear the song's chorus following him back to his desk, first in his ears, then in his head.

iDon't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me/i

By the time Jim watched Pam walk back to her desk, that damn song was stuck in his brain on permanent repeat. He sighed and tried to focus on the sales projection numbers in front of him. For the love of God, he didn't even bLIKE/b that song. But he couldn't go more than five minutes without hearing it in his head, or even worse, finding himself singing along. iThanks, Kelly. Thanks a lot./i

He was still humming the song when Karen came back from her lunch break. She gushed about the new bedroom set she purchased, and Jim heard the Pussycat Dolls. She told him it would be delivered on Saturday, and in a hushed, husky voice invited him over to break it in. Jim found he couldn't even give her an answer because he was too busy singing that damn song. And every time it surfaced, all he could think about was Pam.

iDon't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me/i

He was standing at the copier when he next found himself singing that song. He looked up at Pam, who was currently on the phone. He noticed that her curls were a little different today. Usually they looked tightly kinked, but today he could see they were smooth and loose. His hands automatically tightened into fists as he imagined how soft her hair would slide through his fingers. How silky it would feel brushing against him in bed. Nearly as soft as his memory of her skin.

He was so lost in his fantasy that it took him a minute to realize that she had turned back toward her monitor and caught him staring at her. He could feel himself blushing to the roots of his hair. He grabbed what was finished of his copying and walked away, his eyes fixed to the floor. He dropped his papers on this desk, and continued walking until he reached the men's room. He locked himself into the farthest stall and pressed his flushed face against the cool plaster.

Jim stood in the restroom, feeling like an idiot. He couldn't believe how obvious he'd been, gawking like a school boy. His reaction was even worse. He couldn't have just smiled and blown it off. No, he had to act about as guilty as it was possible to act, then run away. If she didn't know before that he still had feelings for her, she'd have to be blind not to know it now. He briefly wondered if he could just leave his resignation on the bathroom sink and sneak out the stairwell.

He spent five minutes resigning himself to his fate. He splashed cold water on this face to make sure most of the flush had left his face, and walked out of the men's room. He went into the break room to get some water, and found Pam there, pulling a coke can out of the vending machine.

iDon't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me/i

"Hey," he said, hoping against hope that she really didn't see him longing after her at the copier.

She turned around, and an amused smile almost immediately appeared. "Hey," she replied. "You okay?"

He nodded, perhaps a bit too much. "Yep."

"You seemed to be lost in a daydream at the copier out there," she said tentatively. "The way you suddenly rushed away made me wonder if you were feeling all right."

Jim couldn't quite bring himself to meet her gaze. "Yeah, I'm okay."

She nodded, then continued to stand there silently. He finally looked at her, and saw that she was still looking at him, her head tilted slightly. She looked as if she wanted to say something. She cleared her throat, and finally spoke. "Sorry if Kelly interrupted your lunch."

He felt the tension begin to leave his body as he realized she wasn't going to say anything more about his earlier actions. Part of him felt disappointed that she didn't. Jim shrugged. "I was just glad to be there to absorb her wisdom." 

Pam grinned. "You mean her Cosmo wisdom."

Jim grinned back. "I hope you've been listening to your theme song."

Pam laughed. "God, I haven't been able to get that damn song out of my head since she played it," she complained, "and I didn't have the heart to tell her that I hate that song!"

Jim joined in her laughter. "Oh my God, me too!" he confessed. "How in the hell do you make it stop??"

Karen appeared in the midst of their laughter. "What's so funny?" she asked cautiously.

Jim and Pam looked at each other, and knew it was a situation you had to be there to understand. "Oh, it's nothing important," Jim muttered.

Pam looked down at her coke, mumbled something inaudible, and walked out of the break room.

Karen watched Pam go, then turned a concerned eye at Jim. "Are you sure there isn't something I should know?"

Jim shook his head no, and immediately felt deflated. He'd survived his earlier embarrassment only to find himself burdened by guilt.

iDon't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me/i

Yeah, he had to admit it. He did wish his girlfriend was fun like Pam. 


	2. Chapter 2

Jim paged through project spreadsheets again. This day could not possibly get any worse, he thought. His laughter with Pam in the break room resulted in more questions from Karen, questions he knew he'd not answered completely truthfully. How could he explain to Karen his relationship with Pam when he still didn't quite know what was going on between them?

He knew Pam wanted to be best friends again. She'd clearly been delighted to help prank Andy, and whenever he let his guard down around her, she was quick to warm up to him as if nothing awkward had ever happened between them. In short, she'd been more of a friend to him than he'd been to her the past few months. So on top of his guilt about Karen, he felt badly about that as well. He knew how he wished things could be, but that scenario just didn't seem likely. But how could he be friends with Pam - best friends, even - without spiraling back down into where he was a year ago? He was afraid he loved her too much to be just friends, but at the same time he also loved her too much to not be around her. So where did that leave him? 

In a rapidly deteriorating mood, for a start. He printed off the spreadsheets to fax to Jan for her approval. As he walked over toward Pam's desk to get his pages, she looked up and smiled at him. He could feel his bad mood lifting almost immediately. 

"You still singing your song?" He asked casually, walking around her desk towards the printer.

"I thought we agreed earlier to never mention that horrible tune ever again," she said, cringing.

"I made no such promise," he replied, standing behind her monitor, "and I'm sure Kelly would be concerned to hear you aren't working on building your self-esteem."

"Well, what about you?" she said. "Surely you could benefit from your own song?"

Jim put his hands on top of her monitor. "Are you implying I have issues with self-esteem that need addressing?"

"No more than I have, and yet I have my very own song to increase my awareness of my own hotness."

Jim couldn't help but smile. "And what song do you suggest for me, then?" He watched as Pam pursed her lips together, her eyes looking up and to the left, an expression he knew only too well as 'Pam in deep concentration'. 

"Oh, I know!" she said, practically jumping up in her seat. "Every time I hear this song I think of you!"

Jim's eyebrows raised. Did she just acknowledge thinking about him? He tried not to act surprised. "And do you find yourself listening to that song a lot?"

She seemed oblivious to his implication. "Oh, yeah - I love it."

She loved a song that reminded her of him, and she listened to it a lot. So that must mean she would think of him a lot, right? Jim wasn't sure he believed what he was hearing.

"Is it a new song?" He asked somewhat weakly. He was sure he must be reading too much into this.

"I think I first heard it sometime in August. Or September. It was definitely toward the end of summer. I know I've probably worn it out on my NonPod." She grinned and reached over her desk to grab her mp3 player, then started scrolling through her playlists. 

"What song is it?" he asked, almost insanely impatient to hear what song it was.

"It's by OK Go," she said slowly. He noticed her smile disappearing as she stopped scrolling and put her mp3 player back down on her desk.

"Well?" Jim prompted. "Let me hear it."

Pam shook her head, but didn't look up at him. "No. Now that I think about it, I don't think that would be the right song."

"Why, what song is it?" he asked again.

She looked up at him briefly. "Forget it. I'll think of better song and let you know when I've found it." 

Then she did something she never normally did - she got up and walked away from Jim, heading toward the kitchen. He watched her go, wondering what was wrong. The only time she'd ever be the first to leave a conversation was if she was angry or upset with him. He didn't think either currently applied, so he took his print out and sat back down, completely baffled. As he said back down at his desk he noticed Karen was looking at him, an unhappy look on her face. He realized she must have watched their interaction at Pam's desk, and for a moment felt irritated. Girlfriend or not, he didn't like feeling that she could dictate who he could interact with. He knew then that any romantic relationship with Karen was about to come to the already suspected end. 

Roughly fifteen minutes later he was pretending to be looking over his spreadsheets when she finally came back to her desk, but he had been watching her out of the corner of his eye since she stepped out of the kitchen. He immediately noticed her eyes looked a bit red, and tried in vain to figure out what he could have possibly said or done to upset her. As he played their conversation over in his mind for yet another time, it struck him that her attitude changed just at the moment she was finding the song to play for him. The song she confessed made her think of him. So what was the song about that it made her decide he didn't need to hear it? Even his normally fatalist heart found this worth pursuing.

He looked up the band in Wikipedia, hoping he could find out the song without Pam's help. They'd released eight singles, but that didn't mean the song she was referring to was any of those eight. They had five albums, so theoretically it could be one of about fifty songs. He was going to have to bug Pam about it, and the thought made him grin. He sent her an IM, to prevent catching Karen's attention.

JH: You okay?

PB: Yeah, sure. What's up?

JH: I just wanted to be sure you weren't mad at me.

PB: Why should I be?

JH: I don't know. But you seemed to leave your desk in a hurry when I was talking to you.

PB: Oh, no, it was nothing. Sorry if it looked that way. 

JH: Your eyes looked a little red when you came back to your desk.

PB: Wow. Are you stalking me now?

JH: Maybe. :-)

PB: Cool. I've never had a stalker before.

JH: So, what was that song by OK Go?

PB: I told you, it's nothing. It's not the song I was thinking of.

JH: That's fine, I just want to know what song it was.

PB: Why does it matter if it's not your self-esteem song?

JH: Just curious. Maybe I want to expand my musical horizons.

Pam didn't reply immediately, and soon after Michael called her into his office. Jim gave her a pointed look as she walked by, and she rolled her eyes back at him. When Jim saw Pam close Michael's door, he got up from his desk with the intention of finally faxes his printouts to Jan. As he waited for the sheets to run through the fax machine, he leaned against the filing cabinets behind Pam's desk and casually glanced around. Michael's blinds were open, but Pam's back was to the windows. He had the perfect opportunity to have a glance at her mp3 player and find the song, except it was no longer sitting on her desk. Damn her, he grinned to himself, she's certainly a shrewd opponent. Taking a glance around the office, he was confident enough in the fact that he wasn't being watched that he took a quick peek in her desk drawers, but still could not find it. When he heard Michael's door opening, he turned back around and gathered his papers. Pam met him halfway between her desk and his.

"Can I help you with anything?" she asked, a wry smile on her face.

"Nope, just sending a fax," he replied as he continued to his desk.

He didn't have long to wait for her IM comment.

PB: Here's a tip: next time make sure you close the desk drawers completely. It makes it much less obvious that you were snooping around.

JH: I wasn't snooping! (Who says that was me?)

PB: Who else would it be?

JH: How would I know? Maybe you are withholding song title information to other people in this office.

PB: Get over it already!

JH: Tell me the title and I will!!

PB: You're being impossible. It's just a stupid song.

JH: I'm being impossible?? And yes, I am sure it's just a stupid song. Which is why I am so fascinated as to why you won't tell me what it is. Is it one of the songs they released as a single?

Pam didn't reply. Jim looked at the clock and noticed it was already coming up to four-thirty. If he didn't find out before she left for the end of the day, he knew he'd lose any chance of getting the information out of her. He stood up and walked back to the reception counter, resting his forearms on the counter and gripping the edge in semi-serious frustration.

"Okay, here's the deal," he said. "I'm going to stand right here until you give up the song title."

Pam looked up at him, and Jim thought she looked a little anxious. "Be my guest," she replied. She went back to sorting the folders on her desk.

Jim stood there and watched the second hand sweep around his watch face twice before speaking again. "Seriously, why is this such a big deal?"

"It's not," Pam replied. "The song just doesn't fit you. I forgot that it was really written for a girl, not a guy."

Jim shrugged. "That doesn't mean it doesn't fit me," he replied, which made her laugh. "All we care about it is that it reminds me I'm hot."

"Well, that's the other thing," she said, focusing her gaze on the manila folders in front of her, "there really isn't a catchy hook in the music, so it's not that memorable the way mine is. I'm sure an insidious tune would be a requirement."

Jim sighed. He watched Stanley and Kevin leave for the evening and knew he was running out of time. "Pam, just give me the damn iPod."

"It's not an iPod. It's a NonPod."

"Whatever. Just hand it over before you make me crazy."

She looked up at him. "iMake/i you crazy?" 

"Make me crazy-er then." He put out his hand. "Please."

She shook her head. "I'm telling you to just forget it. You are making too big a deal over this."

"Me?" He put his head in both of his hands for a moment. "Okay, listen. If you don't either tell me the title or give me your bNon/bPod so I can hear the song, I'm going to come around and wrestle it off of you."

"You wouldn't dare." She had a challenge in her eye but Jim saw she was fighting not to smile.

"Just watch me." They stared at each other. "Okay, on a count of three I'm walking around your desk. One, two, three." Pam remained unmoved. "Okay, you were warned." Jim walked around her desk and grabbed her wrists, turning her in her chair to face him as he knelt down in front of her. "Now hand it over or I move on to the body search."

Pam's giggle was a little too loud and Jim knew those left in the office were now watching the show. He banked on Pam knowing this as well, and sure enough she finally gave in. 

"Fine," she sighed, her cheeks flushing at the fact everyone was staring. "Let me go and I'll give it to you."

Jim released her but didn't stand up yet. She fished it out of her cardigan pocket and handed it to him. "The song is called iYou're So Damn Hot/i." She turned back toward her desk.

He stood up, grinning in victory. "Thank you," he said magnanimously.

"Go away," she grumbled. 

He laughed lightly as he walked back to his desk. He could barely contain his excitement at finally finding out what song made Pam think of him all this time. He couldn't care less about the self-esteem raising issue that had started this entire little war; that was just the excuse that brought about this whole lark. He knew that all her resistance today had to mean something. He had spent this whole time back in Scranton completely in the dark as to her feelings for him. Surely this song would give him some insight.

He was so nervous that it took him two tries to successfully insert the ear buds. He smiled at the knowledge that these were her ear buds. Anyone else's and he would have used his own, but he was just goofy enough to have it mean something to use hers, and yet mindful enough to know he was a dork that it mattered to him. When he turned the mp3 player on the song was already cued up. He wondered if she'd listened to it at some point during their verbal tug-of-war. He pressed play and listened carefully.

iI saw you sliding out the bar. I saw you slipping out the back door, baby.  
Don't even try and find a line this time, it's fine. Darling, you're still divine./i

It was not at all what he was expecting, even though he had no idea what to expect. He listened to it again, and then once more. 

iYou don't love me at all, but don't think that it bothers me at all. You're a bad-hearted boy-trap, babydoll, but you're... You're so damn hot. /i

He listened to the song as he watched people leave for the evening. He pulled up the lyrics from the OK Go website so he could be absolutely sure that the song said what he thought it said. He kept his eyes on the lyrics while Karen walked passed him. She didn't stop to say good night. He must have listened to the song close to ten times. It was after five o'clock by the time he took the ear buds out.

Jim felt like he was in shock. Despite his best efforts to think negatively, the only way he could interpret the song, knowing that Pam said she thought of him when she heard it, was to think that she cared for him in some way. That she had feelings for him that were more just friendship. It was a funny little song, and the feelings implied seemed more sexy than romantic, but Jim didn't see the need to split hairs. There was something going on in her head, and maybe her heart, in regards to him. And that completely floored him. Or was it hope that made him suddenly feel weak with the need to confront her?

He turned around in his chair and was a little surprised to find Pam still sitting at her desk, looking back at him. She looked a little sad, or maybe she was just tired. Jim stood up and walked over. He handed her back her mp3 player, and she took it silently and put it in the top drawer of her desk. She got up and took her coat off the rack. Jim took a deep breath and bit his lip. It was now or never, again. The two of them alone in the office, again. At least this time the lights were on. 

"So," he said slowly, walking toward her with his messenger bag on his shoulder. "Interesting song. You listen to it a lot, huh?"

"Yeah, sometimes," she replied, glancing only briefly at him as she put her coat on.

"And the song makes you think of me, huh?" Jim put his coat on as well. He wasn't about to let her run off.

"Yeah, sometimes," she said again, this time keeping her eyes on the floor. They walked toward the door together. Jim opened it, allowing Pam to pass in front of him. 

"So that must mean you think I'm hot." There, he'd said it out loud. His heart could quit beating out of his chest now, he though.

"No," Pam replied as they walked toward the elevator. He thought he was going to be ill at her reply until he saw she was shyly smiling. "actually I think you're so damn hot. I thought you listened to the song."

He couldn't help but laugh as he followed her into the elevator. "I stand corrected." He stood next to her, and when their hands brushed against each other, he grabbed her and held it. They looked at each other and smiled, then both looked away. 

He continued holding on to her hand as they walked to her car. He didn't want to let it go then, but he knew he had to. There were things that needed sorting out tonight, no matter how much he might prefer to follow Pam somewhere. Follow Pam anywhere, really.

He felt like he was dazed. "I...Well, there are things I need to take care of tonight, but I wonder if you might like to do something on Friday."

"Friday?" she replied, looking down at their linked hands. "Would that be like a date?"

Jim grinned his uniquely Jim smile. "Yeah, a date would be exactly what I'd call it."

"How could I possibly turn down someone so damn hot?"

He could feel himself blushing but he didn't care in the least. "I'm hoping you can't."

It was Pam's turn to blush. She looked up at him for what seemed like forever to Jim. She surprised him by reaching and placing a quick, tentative kiss on his lips. "You're right. I can't. Friday sounds great."

YOU'RE SO DAMN HOT I saw you sliding out the bar. I saw you slipping out the back door, baby.  
Don't even try and find a line this time, it's fine. Darling, you're still divine.  
You don't love me at all, but don't think that it bothers me at all. You're a bad-hearted boy-trap, babydoll, but you're... You're so damn hot. So now you're headed to your car. You say it's dinner with your sister, sweetie. But darling look at how you're dressed. Your best suggests another kind of guest. You don't love me at all, but don't think that it bothers me at all. You're a bad-hearted boy-trap, babydoll, but you're... You're so damn hot. So who's this other guy you've got? Which other rubes are riding hot-shot, sugar? I could have swore you said before, "No more, for sure." What'd I believe you for? You don't love me at all, but don't think that it bothers me at all. You're a bad-hearted boy-trap, babydoll, but you're... You're so damn hot.

More OK Go awesomeness at: thought about Jim Halpert the very first time I heard this song, ages ago. Then I discovered that the fabulous DementedRiku had made a fanvideo for Jim, Pam and Dwight using this song over at YouTube - go enjoy, especially if you've never heard the song before!! 


End file.
